Athlete Christmas Lists: Esteban Loaiza

Heeeeeeeyyy there, Nick.  How they hangin’?

Oh, come on, old timer.  No need to be shy with me.  Hell, I’ll tell you about how mine are hangin’.  Ask anybody, and they’ll tell you — I’m very, very open about how mine hang.  Just dig talkin’ ’bout ’em.  Always have, I guess; ever since I could remember, I’ve just kinda dug lettin’ folks know about m’balls.

Sure, I’ve got my hand over ’em now — but that’s just to draw your eyes down there.  So now you’re lookin at ’em.  And you’re thinkin’ about ’em.  Am I right?  Of course I am.

Admit it: You can’t help but think about Esteban Loaiza’s balls, Santa Claus.  Know how you feel.  I can’t either.

  1. Two cases, Gold Bond Medicated Powder. Because obviously.
  2. A ticket to the premiere of the new A-Team movie. Always loved Hannibal. Not sure if you knew that about me.
  3. Seven pairs of How Ya Hangin?, the best boxers in underwear history.
  4. Mary Murphy, the loudmouth ballroom judge from So You Think You Can Dance? For one night. That’s all I need.
  5. Hangover on DVD.

Hasta Loaiza,


One response to “Athlete Christmas Lists: Esteban Loaiza

  1. UGH Mary Murphey! I dislike her, she’s sooooo annoying! Sometimes I dream that I shove something down her throat…is that bad? She’s the reason why I don’t watch that show haha!

    Your “Athelete Christmas Lists” are really a subliminal plot to have people either go get Hangover on dvd or ask for the Hangover on dvd for xmas. Just saying, cuz, I want it on dvd now.

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