Turk Wendell’s got that taste you want at that price you need

turk-bear

FRESH OFF THE NEWSWIRE:

Still smarting from his epic THING FIGHT loss to the Arrested Development song “Mr. Wendal,” eccentric ex-big leaguer Turk Wendell has launched a media blitz designed to energize his devoted base of minor league baseball fans, hunters, honey aficionados, Tony Siragusa and crazy people.  (Though I suppose the Goose fits into all of the last three categories.)

The lovable-yet-somewhat-troubling scamp has secured (… like, two years ago, shh, nevermind the datedness, the joke still works, OK, thanks, Mother Brain) a gig as the spokesman for the National Honey Board‘s involvement with Minor League Baseball.  Which, I have to image, produces the most fun meetings ever — mad squeezable bears on conference tables; Bull Durham on a constant loop on the boardroom flatscreens; Bill Veeck forever scouring the newspaper for sociopolitical happenings that he can spin into cah-raaaazy promotional ideas, like a Weekend Update pitch meeting with mini-bats; etc.

But surely you’re not here for my jokery.  You’re here to watch Turk Wendell sell honey using only his mindbending charisma and senses-shattering production values.  Well, let’s get to it, ese.  Please do me the service of sounding off on which video you find creepiest in the comments or via the e-.  (Personally, I’m putting all my money on “The Ventriloquist.”)

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2 responses to “Turk Wendell’s got that taste you want at that price you need

  1. Bring back my CITYLINE! waaaaaaah!

  2. I love to take a squirt for energy.

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