St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner, and I’m really looking forward to it — if there’s one thing that I think we can all agree is a lot of fun, it’s a big parade on a beautiful spring day. But as you well know, the cascading rivers of vomit, urine and spilled cheap beer tinted green by food coloring can really do a number on your trainers.
Do yourself a favor and grab two of the plastic bags that loaves of bread come in — Sunbeam Family is the Eaton family’s breadbag of choice — and just slip ’em right over your Avias. That way, any liquid (or even solid!) that comes your way during the tribal, near-feral Hibernian chaos of a local St. Patty’s Day parade won’t taint the sweet white purity of your 830s. Plus, easier vomiturinebeer skating.
Thanks, Mark! For more straight talk from the 7-foot-4-inch fomer NBA player, check out Stand Tall, Play Big.