I feel you, Diddy; in my case, the overt guilt stems from the fact that I have nothing today. Well, that’s technically not true — I have a shitload of work, a low-level champagne-and-Champagne-of-Beers hangover, a craving for chicken and dumplings (but not the chicken and dumplings soup that’s sitting at my desk) and a crippling fear of intimacy. Those are all things that I have today (and in the case of the first and last things, most days).
What I don’t have today, however, is hilarious blog content. There are reasons — my inability to figure out how to effectively navigate WordPress’ inability to handle certain kinds of video-embedding, for one, and spending at least half my weekend researching/traveling, for another — but they are immaterial. I’m going to be pounding away at my keyboard until the wee small hours tonight and probably tomorrow, but unfortunately, it can’t be for this thing I’ve come to love.
In the meantime, here are several things:
- Congratulations to Steelers fans. I hate your stupid success and envy how tasty your drinks were last night.
- Congratulations to Cardinals fans. You matter. You finally, against all odds, inexplicably matter.
- Congratulations to Goat Deini. You are now winning the Internet with alarming regularity.
- Congratulations to Large at The Sporting Blog. You win the Michael Phelps Internet Response Game. This is the exact right thing to say here.
- Congratulations to Oliver Perez. You will make $12 million per year for the next three years to make me (and a slew of other limp-willed Mets fans) alternately elated and infuriated.
- Congratulations to Kanye West. You are many things, including nuclear energy. That is not easy to be. +1.
- Congratulations to me. I found, and am excited about watching, the 1991 SummerSlam Intercontinental Title match between Mr. Perfect and Bret Hart (in two parts).
- Congratulations to my fiancee. You are marrying a sick loser. But you knew that.
I’ll be back when I can be.