The neoprene sleeves on Nate Robinson’s arms and legs significantly limit his wind resistance

Because I promised the Dawg yesterday, KryptoNate goes up top and deposits a sick feed from Chris Duhon in the Knicks’ ultimately disappointing  111-100 loss to the Raptors at the Air Canada Centre yesterday:

Other points on this game, which I had the pleasure of watching with my brothers the day after my nephew’s week-late family birthday party:

• There were some downright abysmal offensive sets, ameliorated only slightly by significantly worse defensive play. There were probably a half-dozen instances of forward/guard inverts that led to Chris Bosh posting up Larry Hughes, Shawn Marion on Chris Duhon or some such other big-small mismatch. If Bosh was on (just 11 points on 5-14 from the floor, though he did add 12 boards), the Knicks would have gotten run off the court, due in part to …

• Andrea Bargnani. “Il Mago” tore Dominant Team Pringles apart, which is kind of insane, and on several occasions did so off the dribble, which is CERTIFIABLY insane.  Also, I kind of expected Clyde to mangle the Italian’s really-not-all-that-difficult-to-pronounce name, but to hear Gus Johnson chip in and call him “Barn-yarn-ee” all game was somewhat surprising.  And about Gus …

• He shortened the “My name is Al Harrington and I get buckets” call after one Baby Al score to a creepy laugh followed by the single word “buckets.”  Like, “Ah ha ha ha HA, buckets.”  We rewound and watched it a few times.  Haven’t found the video yet, but it was legitimately disconcerting.

• I initially thought Ball Don’t Lie scribe Kelly Dwyer was a little too kind to the Knicks in this morning’s Behind the Box Score, but then I remembered that they’re really not good enough that they should be expected to handle a team like the Raptors on the road. And this point is spot-on:

If the team is going to take that next, unexpected step, it has to start playing perfect games. Or, at least, come a little closer to perfection that what we saw in Toronto on Sunday. There are reasons the Knicks didn’t beat the Raptors, nothing to kill the team over, but it’ll be enough to keep the Knicks out of the postseason if they persist.

Still, though, isn’t it nuts that we’re even discussing things that might “be enough to keep the Knicks out of the postseason if they persist,” and not “the senses-shattering string of miracles that have to take place in an utterly improbable sequence that the Knicks, in defiance of all that is rational and pure, might make the postseason”? That’s kind of nice.

• Wherefore art thou, Danilo? I think we all expected that importing Chris Wilcox and Larry Hughes would necessitate some changes in the rotation, but I was pretty surprised that Gallinari didn’t see the court at all.  Seth at Posting and Toasting made a nice point: “[I]f there’s anybody whose minutes should be sacrificed, it’s Jared Jeffries.”  I’d take it a step further: Jared Jeffries should be sacrificed.  Like, in a ritual, possibly presided over by a New Orleans-based Haitian Voudou priestess.

• Speaking of Larry: Off to a great start, champ.

Mil gracias para el vídeo, Alto Baloncesto.

As is his wont, Larry Hughes is causing me to have an existential crisis

HE IS THE MINDFREAK. (Photo courtesy of The Plain Dealer's Early Edition blog)

When I saw the headline to the Wednesday post on New York Daily News reporter Frank Isola’s “Knicks Knation” (ugh) blog, I felt a chill run down my spine:

“Knicks targeting Bulls’ Larry Hughes.”

For real?  I mean, I’d heard possible trades discussed that would maybe allow the Knicks to shed a contract or two, maybe bring back an expiring deal, maybe add a frontcourt asset, etc.  But “targeting”?  Larry Hughes?

Are they aware that this is the dude whose reputation for taking abysmal, low-percentage shots at inopportune times inspired someone actually started a Web site called “Hey Larry Hughes, Please Stop Taking So Many Bad Shots“?  That he has in the past worn an ungodly body armor undershirt contraption that would elicit derision from the hairiest, Rec-Spec-iest dudes in your Wednesday morning YMCA league?

That he has engendered such distaste among Bulls fans that Matt at Blog-a-Bull admitted he “may have snuck in a pump of the fist when [he] saw Larry Hughes crumple to the ground” during a pre-season game against the Timberwolves?  That goathair’s lone birthday wish for this trade deadline (BTW, happy birfday, broheim) was that his beloved Bulls ship out Hughes?

That math genius Tom Ziller wrote at The Sporting Blog that “Hughes + Basketball = Wincing pain“?  That spiritual sage Bethlehem Shoals at the same site once advised Bulls GM John Paxson that Hughes “will destroy this team if you let him shine, like a cult leader and corrupt guidance counselor rolled up in one“?

That, through a uniquely distasteful combination of poor play and selfishness, he earned this etherization by Eamonn Brennan, noted scribe of seemingly everywhere?

Larry. Real talk. You are not as good as you think you are. You’re that awkward, crappy guy at open gym who, for whatever reason, thinks he’s really good, and alienates an entire court of eager basketball players in the meantime. You are self-deluded. You don’t command minutes. You waste possessions. You don’t defend. Your arm sleeve-sweater-thing is utterly ridiculous. You take horrible shots. SOMEONE NAMED A WEB SITE AFTER YOUR BAD SHOTS. IT WAS QUITE POPULAR DESPITE ITS INCREDIBLY LONG URL.

Christ, Larry. Figure it out. You’re the only one that hasn’t.

(I knew there was a lot of Larry Hughes-centric venom on the Internet, but I never knew it was this widespread … and we haven’t even gotten to the Basketbawful retrospective.  More on that to come.)

And yet, here we are, with Isola reporting that team president Donnie Walsh is considering flipping the expiring contract of Malik Rose and at least one player asset — including, possibly, restricted-free-agent-to-be Nate Robinson, whose stock has jumped after a string of quality performances leading into the All-Star break and whose monster 38-minute-32/10-with-3-assists-and-zero-TO line in Tuesday’s surprise victory over the Spurs led Kelly Dwyer to write the following: “That’s a line, and I’m being serious, that we were used to seeing from Dirk Nowitzki during his MVP run” — to bring in Hughes, whose $13.65 million contract comes off the books heading into the much-ballyhooed Summer of 2010.

(LONGEST SENTENCE EVER.)

But hold the phone on the giant cap-space clearance.  Let’s see if we can’t handicap the odds of this sucker actually going down.

Over at ESPN.com, Chris Sheridan last night gave us the good ol’ “go fuck yourself, trade watchers!” coin flip:

I have one very plugged-in source telling me that the Knicks still have a “slim but possible” chance of landing Larry Hughes, while another source was equally emphatic in saying he expects the Bulls to keep Hughes in mothballs now that they’ve dropped some $200,000 under the luxury tax threshold via the Brad Miller/John Salmons deal.

Today’s Chicago Tribune reports that “a nearly completed deal sending Hughes to the Knicks for Malik Rose and Jerome James fell apart Wednesday.”  At the same time, however, today’s Chicago Sun-Times says that Hughes didn’t travel with the Bulls to Milwaukee for their game against the Bucks (intrigue!) and that the framework for a Hughes deal might involve David Lee going Midwest and Kirk Hinrich heading to the Big City of Dreams.  (NOTE: Newsday’s Alan Hahn says that deal’s not happening, and that Lee’s not going anywhere.)

That first trade would make some economic sense — the Bulls get Rose’s expiring $7.65 million deal to create some space this off-season, the Knicks shed the now-largely-symbolic albatross of Big Snacks and turn about $14.25 million in total expiring contracts (spread over two years) into one lump-sum $13.65 million goner next year, the overwhelmingly obvious and explicitly stated goal of everything they do.

On the other hand, the second proposal would make most Knicks fans cry, cry, cry for several reasons:

1. Lee’s become the great white hope for many in the Apple;
2. While Hinrich is a more gifted overall player than Chris Duhon and his 2009 per-36 numbers are about in line with his career marks (with at least a couple of his advanced stats/peripherals nosing up toward his ’06-’07 career bests) despite missing about two months to a thumb injury, he doesn’t appear to represent a monster upgrade over what the Knicks are getting from Duhon this year;
3. Hinrich’s contract pays him through 2011-2012, meaning that even though the Knicks would shed Hughes’ $13.65 million, they’d still have Cap’n Kirk, who doesn’t seem to be too many people’s idea of an NBA championship-caliber starting point guard, on the books for two more seasons.

Added wrinkle: In his post yesterday, Isola claimed that Lee would only go to Chicago in a Hughes deal if the Bulls sent back Joakim Noah or Tyrus Thomas, a framework for which had also been discussed as a “trade that SHOULD happen” by ESPN.com’s Chad Ford (in a post that was summarily pooh-poohed by Tommy Dee at The Knicks Blog on Tuesday).

But what makes this all the more interesting is Isola’s suggestion that some in NY’s front offices are having doubts about whether Lee is talented or savvy enough to merit locking up long-term:

Lee has enjoyed a breakout season but some in the organization wonder if he has reached his ceiling. On Tuesday, Lee was no match for Tim Duncan, who scored 13 fourth quarter points. Lee also missed a crucial free throw in the final minute and then knowingly gave his sixth foul in the final three seconds while guarding Tony Parker, who finished the night shooting 5-for-20.

Although the Knicks won the game, Lee’s decision to give a foul – the Knicks had one to give – was a questionable move at best. If the Knicks were up one, Lee would have been smart to foul. But in a tied game, there is a strong chance that the game will go into overtime. Think of it this way, how many All-Stars (and Lee thinks he belongs in that group) would knowingly foul out of a tie game? The answer is none.

Now, there’s one patently ridiculous point in Isola’s post, as has been noted in various places: Name me all the teams that Duncan doesn’t go to town on, especially down the stretch, especially when opponents are trying to guard him with 6’9″ guys.

But as for the other stuff — the questions about how much more’s left untapped in Lee’s talent reservoir — well, hmm.

/takes himself out of fan mode and tries to think like a company man

If you believe Lee’s reached his ceiling and as a result you’re not really considering him in your long-term plans … and if you’re looking for a higher-potential athlete that might be totally unleashed in Mike D’Antoni’s system (I think we can all agree that Thomas has the chance to be that) … AND if you think teams are unlikely to ever have higher opinions of Lee and Robinson than they do right now …

Then doesn’t it make perfect sense to continue the job started by the Jamal Crawford and Zach Randolph deals and use these remaining valuable assets (in conjunction with Rose’s expiring contract) to try to shed the last remaining bad multiyear deals (Jared Jeffries and Eddy Curry) and keep cleaning up the company’s balance sheet?  Especially if said deals could return a chip (Thomas) that has the potential to be a higher-performing asset?

Even if it goes against all intuitive fan instincts to actively try to lose the two players who most make your team worth watching and fun to follow?  Even if it means taking on a millstone (Hughes) that is sure to inspire Silky Johnston-level hating from yours truly (which, come to think of it, might also be considered an upside)?

The man in me thinks the “sell high” principle should take hold and I should have the balls to stick with the same thought process that I maintained when Walsh dumped Crawford and Randolph — this year doesn’t matter, D’Antoni will find ways to be competitive and interesting this season regardless, building the foundation for the future and scouring the books is what counts, etc.

But the fan in me wants to boo the notion of moving Lee and NateRob until my throat is sore because of the life they’ve helped bring to the squad.  It’s causing the clash of head versus heart, intellect versus instinct, adult analysis versus childlike glee.  I honestly didn’t know I cared this much.

Wow.  That’s 1,500+ words I didn’t see coming.  Thanks, Larry Hughes, for making me feel like Dane McGowan after he smokes the blue mold in The Invisibles.  Trade deadline is doing my fucking head in, man.

In which I effectively bail on the Knicks’ 2009 season and talk myself out of a number of players they could potentially select in this year’s draft

With All-Star Weekend now in the rear view mirror, NBA teams fall for the most part into two categories: those making a run at a playoff spot and those casting their eyes toward the Lottery.  Though they played well above pre-season expectations through the first three months of the season, the New York Knicks fall squarely into the latter group.

They’re 10 games under .500 and 3.5 games out of the 8th seed, trailing Milwaukee, New Jersey and Chicago, just ahead of Indiana and Toronto.  While that’s far from an insurmountable deficit, they’re simply playing bad ball, losing six straight to head into the break on a slide fueled by mental lapses, an utter inability to defend elite wings (or anyone, really), and the re-stocking of Al Harrington at the jerkstore.

On top of that, they come back from the All-Star break with an MSG visit from San Antonio tomorrow night, leading  into a home-and-home with a Raptors team that could get a boost from the import of Shawn Marion. Then, Dominant Team Pringles play host to the Pacers (who beat N.Y. at the Garden on Jan. 2), the Magic (who are significantly better than the Knicks by any objective measure, and whose center will have a mighty, Paul Bunyan-esque axe to grind) and the 76ers (who have already beaten the Knicks three times this season) before closing out the month out on the road in Miami, a superior team that should by that point have started to figure out how to integrate Jermaine O’Neal.

Mike D’Antoni’s already thin rotation may also be stretched even thinner in the days to come, as Chris Duhon (ankle sprain), Quentin Richardson (bruised ribs) and Tim Thomas (groin injury) all went into All-Star Weekend banged up.  (Yeah, Eddy Curry’s supposed to start practicing with the team this week as he targets a second-half comeback, but given the shitcloud that’s been following Eddy around for the past year and a half, do you have any doubt that he’ll sever the myelin sheaths of every neuron in his brain during shootaround?)

And it’s unlikely the Knicks would be able to add any helpful pieces via trade — they don’t seem eager to move David Lee, easily their most valuable player; KryptoNate might bring back a draft pick, but nothing of value this season; and their only two expiring deals are Starbury’s $20.8 million, which they haven’t exactly bent over backward to ship out, and Malik Rose’s $7.65 million, which likely wouldn’t return much worth having, because Malik Rose is 74 and stinks.

So while the great Studs Terkel teaches us that hope dies last, the odds don’t look good for the boys in orange and blue to make a postseason run; in fact, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the Knicks failed to notch a W in February and completely disappeared from the playoff hunt by March 1.

What do you do in times like these?  Start exercising the 2009 NBA Lottery Mock Draft machine, that’s what.  There’s always next year, and this summer’s draft pick could have you playing for a playoff spot next season.

Except that the Knicks don’t exactly have a great history in the draft; check out this list of first-rounders.  Since taking Patrick Ewing with the first overall pick in 1985, the best picks are probably Mark Jackson (1987) and Lee (2005), and there’s a whole lot of inexorable sadness in between.  And while 2007 first-rounder Wilson Chandler has shown a lot of improvement this year, it’s fair to say there’s some skepticism about how good 2008 pick Danilo Gallinari can be.

So since Knicks fans tend to be disappointed by the team’s draft picks (often with good reason), it seems prudent to start preparing a list of reasons to disapprove of whomever the Knicks select this season.  As I have watched virtually no college basketball this season, my analysis will be based purely on surface appearances, flimsy analogy, woeful misinformation, the occasional anecdote and a plethora of ill will.

Let’s start with Oklahoma’s Blake Griffin, who most project to go #1 overall.

It has been suggested that you are an athletic marvel, a tall man that can run and rebound, a surefire prospect and the draft’s most gifted player, which would be cool for you.  It has also been suggested that you are secretly Kris Humphries, which is lame and deserving of mad scorn.  Based on how surprised you appear in this photograph and on no other research, I believe you will become a disappointing mashup of Tim Thomas, Austin Croshere and Rupert Grint.

What about the player whose name is connected with the Knicks most frequently in the lottery machine, Davidson guard Stephen Curry?

It is my understanding that you shoot the ball very well, that you have great parentage (coming from the Basketball Currys), that you have the height, quickness and handle to play the point at the next level, and that you can score on pretty much anyone.  But you apparently didn’t have the foresight to purchase ankle insurance, nor did you have the foresight to dissuade your talented brother Seth from attending a university that was founded by Jerry Falwell.  All of this suggests a lack of crunch-time leadership that indicates you will not be anywhere near the floor general that Chris Duhon is.  Boo.

And what of the draft’s most exotic import, Spanish teen point guard sensation Ricky Rubio?

You are mad cute, and I keep thinking you’re small, but you’re not really small at all.  You look like Harry Potter, but way cuter.  During the gold medal game against the U.S. last summer, you didn’t look out of place on the court against the best American point guards, which was remarkable.  Internet basketball luminaries like goathair and Tom Ziller and Bill Simmons love you lots, and you seem like a perfect fit for a coach that knows how to get the most out of smart, multitalented point guards, and you’d probably be brilliant triggering an SSOL attack for the next decade.

But you also look like a mustache-less Gael Garcia Bernal in Amores Perros, before he gets super into the world of dogfighting and all of his dreams come crashing down, and that makes me preemptively sad and apprehensive in assessing your chances of success in the world of NBA basketball (a.k.a. “the world of dogfighting”).

I think New York City will eat you alive, literally, which at first sounds like it would make a great horror movie concept, but then when you think about it is actually pretty dumb and would probably need to be like a Troma Films production or something, and then it’s just relegated to the “cult classics” section at Borders and no one ever even watches it seriously, which pisses off the director because hey, we spent a lot of time working on this project, you know?  And now here you people all are, trying to option cartoon rights and get Joe Bob Briggs to do his hillbilly huckster thing on a DVD and make this whole thing into a joke, but we set out to make a legitimate genre-redefining horror movie, one that infused elements of subtle, encroaching fear inspired by sources as varied as Kafka and Henson and Craven and Danzig, and to be honest, I think we did, and that’s the way I view the whole “Big City of Screams” project, if you want to know how I really feel about it.

So maybe you should just go to Washington or the Clippers, Ricky, for all of our sakes.

Other inevitable disappointments:

• Greg Monroe, Georgetown. Mike Sweetney was a gifted Georgetown big, too.  Remember him?  So do I, and so does every permutation of  “Famous,” “Original” and “Ray’s” in the New York metropolitan area.  We won’t get fooled again, Hoyas.
• James Harden, Arizona State. You may say you’re 19, but you look like you’re 60, dog. I don’t believe you; you need more people.
• Hasheem Thabeet, Connecticut. Sure, you put up 25/20/9 in a win that brought your #1 ranked team to a 24-1 mark, the best 25-game record in UConn history.  But you remind me of the Bug that wore the Edgar Suit from Men in Black, and while that’s good for post defense, that’s too scary for kids to watch night-in and night-out, and the Knicks are for the children.
• Jeff Teague, Wake Forest. You are a Wake Forest guard who is not Chris Paul. :(
• B.J. Mullens, Ohio State, and Cole Aldrich, Kansas. The Knicks have already gotten lucky with one white big man this decade; to try for another would probably be pushing it.
• Al-Farouq Aminu, Wake Forest. You look really sleepy in a lot of your photos, and sometimes sad, too.  They said the same thing about Tracy McGrady, and look what a total loser he turned out to be.  No thanks.

Who do you think will be a disappointing draft pick, and why?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Enjoy the second half of the season, guys!  Can’t wait until the draft!

Image via FFFFOUND!