I mean … she should have put out by now, right?

12:28 PM: EDITOR’S NOTE: After a few hours of thinking about it, I decided to tone down the header of this post. My apologies if its previous iteration offended anybody.

“Listen, I’m not trying to pressure her, all right?  It’s just that, after two months, y’know, I figured this is the city line. would having a little bit more fun than she does.”

Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, Buster Brown. This site isn’t that kind of girl.

…

Yet.

And now, without further ado, as we do at the start of each new chapter in this blog’s life: Please rise for your municipal anthem.

Again and as always, thanks for taking the time to stop by.  By all means, feel free to stick around a while and do as the natives do.  Talk yourself out of draft picks.  Read 1,500 words kinda/sorta about how Larry Hughes can force you to define your fandom.  Sign our “Gastebüch” and marvel at our listings of BASKETBALL LEGENDEN.

Crank up the “Bonnie & Shyne,” allowing the soothing tones of Barrington Levy to bring back memories of the time when you thought you could totally dance to reggae-esque songs because all they really required you to do was get as close as you could to a girl (without sweating all over her, Angus), interlocking legs and moving side to side.  Pin thumbtacks of where you’ve traveled in the world on the Map According to Devine.

Get your face annihilated.  Let Big Baby run the show.  For God’s sake, stop biting off Wilt.  Or not.  Whatever you do, enjoy your stay, and let me know if you need some fresh towels.

Sunday Morning: Today, Take More Drugs than a Touring Funk Band

Ah, Mclusky. We hardly knew ye.

Sadly, I am coughing and sniffling like a pixelated soon-to-be casualty on “The Oregon Trail,” so the drugs I’m going to spend today taking won’t be nearly as fun as the ones these fine Welshmen were talking about.  Here’s hoping sheer Cardiff-based rockness (and an overdose amount of Emergen-C) will be enough to get my ship righted again.  But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t partake of a little of the narco-Fun-Dip.  Hey, as long as you can wake up for work, it’s no big deal, right?   It’s not a habit, it’s cool.  I feel alive.

Back tomorrow, gang.  Stop by the Twitter page to see my intermittent comedy stylings.  Enjoy the veal.

This site is now learning to turn its head to preferred positions when lying on its stomach or back

At least, that’s what Mama’s Health tells me it should be doing today.

Of course, there’s only one REAL answer here: A healthy dollop of the hottest possible liniment applied directly to your special guy’s testicles.

Yep, today marks one month since I started this little shitshow.  Interestingly enough to no one but me, it also marks one year since I had my last cigarette, a decision I’m supposed to be proud of, but that actually infuriates me every day.  (I know I could have packed in another year or two of smoking enjoyment before anything real bad happened to my innards.)  So, hooray.  I am doubly following through on things.

If you’ll indulge me for a moment (and I’m assuming you will, considering you’re here), I just wanted to briefly thank everyone who told me I should try this and everyone who’s taken a second to read my inane ramblings (not to be confused with the fine site Inane Musings).  We’ve just passed the 4,000 visits mark, which is about 3,975 more than I anticipated receiving when I signed up for a WordPress account.

I especially want to thank those of you who’ve commented on posts, sent e-mails, gotten at me on Twitter, hyped my stuff on BallHype, or linked me in your blogrolls … remarkable enough as it is to have people read this stuff, it’s exponentially more so that someone would want to join in my conversation and suggest that others do the same.

I’ve been lucky enough to have gotten plugs and/or support from some pretty great people in this community, and I am very, very grateful for that.  I hope to validate their votes of confidence, and maybe even earn a few more while I’m at it.  And of course, if you’ve got any ideas for how I can improve the look/feel/content/smell/immune system of this is the city line., please feel free to throw some ideas in the comments or shoot me an e-mail — like most one-month-olds, this place is going to need some guidance (not to mention breast milk) before it can grow into an awkward, parent-resenting adolescent.

And now, without further ado, please stand for your municipal anthem.

Thanks for coming, and feel free to stick around a while — we’re just getting warmed up.

Sunday Morning: Get Focused, Champ

I’m a sucker for back-in-the-day East Coast hip-hop, and Audio Two’s “Top Billin’” will always be one of my favorites … the rhymes are equal parts catchy and kitschy, and that beat is infectious.  (You may recognize it from Grand Theft Auto IV or from 50′s “I Get Money” single … or from one of a million other tracks, since “Top Billin’” gets sampled like crazy.)  The A-side of this 12″, “Make It Funky,” ain’t so bad itself.  Perfect for knocking the Sunday mornin’ sleep out your eyes and getting yourself ready for a Mavs/Celts tilt at noon, a relatively sparse NCAA hoop slate and … hmmm … not much else.  Yeesh.

I guess you could just say screw it and listen to Milk Dee smash the beat one more time.  That’s a pretty solid option anyway, but it turns golden when staring straight into the maw of motocross and figure skating.  MC am I, people call me Milk / When I’m bustin’ up a party, I feel no guilt / Gizmo’s cuttin’ up for the / Suckas that’s down with me! All of us suckas are down with you, Milk.  4 real.

Have a great Sunday, gang.  Back tomorrow with more tomfoolery.

Please rise for your municipal anthem.

Because every city needs a theme song, dig?

Ed. note: In case you weren’t tipped off by Deini’s presence in the vid box ‘neath these words, the language, gunshots, etc., within are NSFW.  But the grooves are suitable for everything, everywhere, all the time.

All right, boys and girls. Here goes fuckin’ nothing.